Banding Together: Wesley’s Call to Connection
In today’s digital age, connecting with others has never been easier. With just a click of a button, we can text, call, or email anyone, anywhere. Technology has thrown open a window into people’s lives, letting us peer in from a distance. Through social media, we can catch up with old friends, stay informed of their latest activities, and tag along on their vacations. We track celebrations, frustrations, milestones, and everyday moments, sometimes for people we barely know. We even put ourselves out there, on display posting photos, hot takes, and updates for everyone on the internet to see. Connecting with others has never been so easy.
And yet, despite our constant virtual connection, loneliness and isolation are on the rise. When we text or facetime on our phones, something vital is getting lost through the surface of our screens. We have lost a sense of real connection, and we are missing out on building genuine relationship with others. We have gained access but at the cost of intimacy.
John Wesley realized the power and importance of true connection long before smartphones and social media came around. While he was at Oxford, he and a few of his close friends created the “Holy Club” which met regularly for prayer, bible study, service, and spiritual development. Wesley learned first-hand how important community and connection is when it comes to our spiritual lives.
For many people who were living in the 18th century, they found that the church culture felt distant and impersonal. People might be attending worship, but they were lacking deep, meaningful, relationships. Not much has changed in our time today.
As the Methodist movement formed, one of the things that Wesley instituted as a part of the movement were bands and classes. These were small groups designed for people to be committed to one another, grow together spiritually, and be accountable to each other. These groups were places where people could share in prayer, open themselves up to confession, and grow deeper in their faith.
What Were Bands, Classes, and Societies?
Wesley’s system had three distinctive layers that help build deeper connection:
Societies were the large gatherings where people came to hear a teaching based on the primary tenants of Methodism. They were held in a large classroom setting where the women and men were separated into two rows.
Classes were smaller mixed groups (around 10 or 12 people) that met weekly to check in on one another’s spiritual lives and offer support. These meetings provided community development and spiritual accountability.
Bands were even smaller groups of around 3 to 5 people of the same gender—who met for intensely honest conversation, confession, and prayer.
In these band meetings, Wesley had crafted a series of questions specifically designed to foster transparency, openness, and connection.
Wesley’s Band Meeting Questions:
What known sins have you committed since our last meeting?
What temptations have you met with?
How were you delivered?
What have you thought, said, or done which you doubt whether it was sin or not?
Are you keeping any secrets?
These are simple and straightforward questions, but they are in no way easy. These questions help bring the things we often want to keep in the darkness out into the light. Often these small group meetings would begin with the question, “How is it with your soul?” These questions cause us to be reflective and intentional about how we are currently living our lives each and every day.
We Need Each Other
This model of small groups brought about real transformation and change. People were transformed, not just by the sermons and bible studies, but through real relationships and community where people felt that they were in a place where they could be honest, open – a place where they were seen, known, and loved in an intimate way. These groups were actively doing life together and no one was alone.
Our world needs this now more than ever. Life can be difficult and challenging, and it can throw a lot of unexpected obstacles in our way. We need one another. We need that sense of connection. We need someone who is checking in with us and keeping us accountable, in the best ways.
How to Start a “Modern Band”
If you want to follow in Wesley’s steps, here’s a simple way to get started:
1. Find 2-4 trusted friends who want to grow in their faith.
2. Commit to meet regularly – every week.
3. Agree on the purpose of the meeting – honesty, prayer, growth.
4. Ask each other good questions – (see below for a modernized version of Wesley’s questions)
5. Keep it confidential, honest, and extend lots of grace to each other.
Whether it is a group at church, or a group of trusted friends, or some close confidantes at a coffee shop, it is important to find a group that you can get connected with. It’s not about adding another meeting to your already busy schedule. It’s about reclaiming a sense of relationship, finding community, and growing deeper in your faith. It’s about being intentional and asking yourself and others, “How is it with your soul?” And then we need to care about those who answer.
If you feel stuck and disconnected, remember that you don’t have to do life alone. Find your people, start a small group, ask hard questions, pray honest prayers, and invite God to be at the center of it all.
Wesley’s Modernized Questions:
1. Where have you sinned or fallen short since our last meeting?
2. What struggles of temptations have you faced this week?
3. Where have you experienced God’s strength, help, or guidance?
4. What have you thought, said, or done that you’re unsure about?
5. What are you holding back that you don’t want to say – but maybe should?
